crush

My romantic life is mostly crushes these days. I used to hate them, they would lock me in a wheel of thought, "him, him, him". Pretty soon I could see why a fox would be willing to chew off its own leg to escape the trap. Never could figure out where to bite. They were incapacitating, excrutiating. They didn't have the fluffy, victorian politeness of infatuation. Or the groovy swing of a 'yen'. Nor were they the squirming, warmth or puppy love. They were a pin you to the ground, wish it would end, crush. Now they are nice, light. Something to look forward to like your favorite tv-show at the end of a long day.

One is at work, one of the tech guys. Dark hair, kind eyes, scruffy jawline. He's our local heart throb with half of the junior high girls giggling at his presence. He had a girlfriend, so what did I care really? I know how shitty I feel when I fuck someone else's boyfriend. Now that he's single, well there are suddenly more reasons to call the tech office for computer help.