Tuesday, March 06, 2007

'It's oh so quiet, shh shh, it's oh so still'

I haven’t been posting much. The thing is with ‘wonderland’ I can get my own stats on the writing I put out there. I don’t mean those who visit, rather how much I write.

Here’s the rub; I started thinking this was a sex blog. It’s not. Not really. It does a nice impression of a sex blog, but it’s really just a blog written by a girl who likes sex. (Who likes to read about sex, write about sex, have sex…)

I also started to give a damn about people’s opinions. Started caring what people thought of what I wrote so I stopped writing. Seems like if you want to shut me up, just listen.

When I start to think about posting I think about the kids I work with and end up with writing what sound like a “Kids say the darndest things” re-run. I need a vacation yet end the day with jewels of memory stuck in pockets, chunks of time I re-visit to convince myself to return tomorrow. I struggle with co-workers, stamp my feet at all that is wrong with the school. I rage as quietly as I can, for there’s nothing I can do to change it. I must go get a degree, then another, then another. And all I want is to sleep, for a long time. and wake once in awhile in a lover’s arms.

For right now, I’m lucky to find the time for a first date.


El Cuervo said...

Life can be very hectic! I havent write much on my blog lately either. I think you are doing a good job with your writting, just don't put too much pressure on yourself and you'll see how it just flows. As for what people thinks or says? Screw them!! (and i don't mean it in the good/fun way) it is your blog, you should feel free to write/say whatever you want!

Lippy said...

If you think your blog writing is sub standard you clearly haven't been reading mine of late. However, I have taken the view that regardless of the "needs" of the readership it is my right to just off load the content of my brain onto the page...so that's what I'm doing!